Warning
All characters are real but the story is fictional, Well ...
Me – Look at the babe man.........yeh firang itni hot kyon hoti hai?
Saurabh – Dude......, you are so right, they are just irresistible.
This was my first night out in the United Kingdom and I wanted to have as much fun as possible. I was super excited; I had never seen so many sexy firang babes at one place in my life.
I know, you must be wondering about my fixation with the firangs, well, to be very frank I never distinguished between races and I was never racial, but trust me, the moment I entered the party I was gone, I became racial and I started to distinguish every person and I was not alone, almost all my Indian friends had the same kind of feelings. It was after all the fresher’s week, an opportunity to mingle with the firang and local freshers.
Saurabh came to me and said in his famous monotone voice with billions of expressions, "dude, I don't know about you but I am going to fish". I looked at him and said “ sale, If you go and get any firang girls phone number, I'll buy you a drink", I love to challenge my friends and make them do interesting stuff, just like Narad muni. He looked at me for exactly 3.5 seconds, smiled, winked, and went away.
At that moment I saw her, she was a redhead, 9/10 (well the highest which I gave to any girl after Megan Fox). She was alone with her drink, staring boringly at people around her. I saw a guy approach her.
Guy - Hi, you look lovely tonight.
9/10 girl - Tell me something I don’t know
Guy - Umm, well, can I buy you a drink?
9/10 girl - I thought you'll first buy it and then tell me. She looked at him for the first time.
Guy buys her a drink (vodka with coke).
Guy - Well ...would you like to dance with me?
9/10 girl - No, I am too bored and you are not my type.
She said that and walked away to a group of people. I could hear the guy’s heartbreak into thousand pieces and I said to myself “what a jackass”.
I also thought, “what a bitch”. I am sure she has a boyfriend. Just then I saw Saurabh approach the group where that girl went. The first thing which came to my mind was, "God, now he is going to lose his dignity and I am going to get a free drink, and it’s going to be fun".
I approached the group from a distance to see how Saurabh was going to get thrown out.
I saw Vaishu and Anjali and called them. Vaishu is from Chennai, a diehard Tamil film enthusiast who doesn’t understand Hindi and every time I irritate her say’s poda. She is also unlike any Tamil girl I have ever seen, she is extremely fair and doesn’t have a bust line, I mean she is tiny, skinny and pesky, that’s why we call her mosquito, and whenever she irritates me I threaten her with a goodnight matt. Anjali is a mallu girl without an attitude; she loves English music (which I pretend to understand), occasionally watches Malayalam movies to feel at home, and loves dancing. She also makes amazing salads and changes into a completely different person once she gets high. (I guess I'll write their story some other day, this time its about guys).
I told them about our bet and they were not amused, you see, Saurabh is reasonably handsome and almost every girl is interested in him, they find him irresistible. He is from Delhi and does not carry any attributes whatsoever to a person coming from that place. In other words, he is not a show-off. His pet dialogue is “bhains ki aankh”.
There were 1 guy and 2 girls in the group. Saurabh approached the group and asked one of the girls, "I just need a quick opinion. I have to leave in 2 minutes, you see that guy", he points out at Nitish (our other friend from Delhi), "Well his girlfriend doesn't like him to be in touch with his ex. But the problem is that they are still good friends, what do you think he should do”. During the whole conversation, he didn’t even look at the hot girl.
Instead, he looked at the guy for an answer and the guy replied, “Mate, he should leave his ex alone, he should concentrate on the one with whom he is having sex”. The girls gasped and said “nooo....,” one of the girls said, “if they are good friends then he should continue his friendship”. Saurabh looked at the girl and said “the reason I am asking this is that if he stops talking to her then he will resent his girlfriend. But if he keeps talking to her, his girlfriend will resent him”. The hot girl whispered “even I was in the same situation”, Saurabh didn’t pay much attention to her again. As he interacted with the group, he paid special attention to the guy who seemed more likely to shut him up – the jealous man – overprotective friend. He made him feel good as he interacted with the girls. At that moment the guy left to buy drinks for the girls.
Saurabh told the girls that he could find out whether they were best friends. He asked them whether they knew what shampoo the other girl used, the girls looked at each other and said “Dove”!!, Saurabh smiled and explained that the answer was not important; “I already know that you are good friends because the moment I asked you the question you looked at each other, as if there was a bond between you gals”. (I know it sounded total crap but somehow it got them interested).
Suddenly they didn’t want him to leave. He started to make fun of the hot girl, he was teasing her by saying that she reminded him of mini Britney spears. After a couple of minutes the hot girl was standing alone with him as the other girl interacted with another guy.
He was mesmerizing, and it was time for me to get into action, by that time Vaishu and Anjali were also gone after seeing his success story. But before leaving they made ample fun of me and told me to keep his drink ready. What losers.
As I was watching the whole proceeding, I got a tap on my back. It was one of the Indian guy named Rajneesh, I was in touch with him through facebook before coming to the University. He is from Kashmir, totally loyal to his girlfriend. If ever sati savitri is born as a man, it will be in Rajneesh's image.
Rajneesh – Let me introduce you to my friends.
There were two Indian guys and one cute European babe. They were studying in his class.
I said Hi to the two Indian guys (actually, without much interest) but my sole concentration was bestowed upon the babe. She was a hottie (in my eyes this babe was hotter than Saurabh's). She was blonde, petite and had a killer figure . She also had this exotic accent.
Me – Hey, nice to meet you, what’s your name?
Babe – Barbie
Me – I looked into her eyes and said, “Barbie, nice name, can I play with you?"
She almost dropped her drink; the other 3 guys were watching me with shock.
Rajneesh – Dude, did you actually say that right now?
Babe – (after gaining composure), well are you Ken? (Barbie doll’s boyfriend)
Me – Do you have any doubts darling?
Babe – Lol, wow, I was just kidding, where were you all this time. (She winked at me)
Me - Well, I was here only love, looking for you.
As we were flirting with each other, I grabbed her hand and took her to a corner, we were having a good time, she was laughing at my silliest jokes (and trust me almost most of the times they are SILLY).
After some time I asked her, “Do you want to kiss me”? She said “I am not sure”. I leaned over and kissed her anyway, she didn’t resist.
Later that night while we were returning back to our hostel, Anjali was in a foul mood so I asked her:-
Me – What happened, why are you in such a sadoo mood?
Anjali - Arre, I was sitting in one corner waiting for Vaishu, an Indian fellow came and sat beside me. He started chatting; I was also interacting with him normally. Vaishu came back and I talked to her for a while. After some time, the guy stands up, looks at me and says with attitude, ok, let’s be ‘just friends only' and walks away. I just don’t understand what all goes inside your minds.
Me – Whoa, don’t stereotype us macha. It’s alright, must be some despo guy, forget about him.
Vaishu was talking to her boyfriend on phone. For some reason she calls him Dhandam, I wonder what it means.
As I was remembering the proceedings of this wonderful evening, Saurabh came and showed me three phone numbers.
Saurabh – Now you owe me 3 drinks.. bhains ki aankh!
Me - Dude, if every party turns out like this, I won’t complain, by the way I still don’t get it ki yeh firang itni hot kyon hoti hai?
- Inspired by The Game, by Neil Strauss
